Analysis of Sagan’s Rooftop Ride

Peter Sagan is a sensation. He’s a freak. And love him or hate him, he brings a lot of charisma and attitude back into the sport of cycling. Maybe he doesn’t have the good looks and un-helmeted mane of the Lion King, Mario Cippollini, I can’t stop staring at his unibrow, but Peter Sagan is just as cool.

Two weeks ago, he released a video that spread across every two wheeled website like wildfire called Sagan Parking. In honor of his 3, 2nd places in the Tour and the hope for a win today, I sat down and watched the video for the first time.

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:00

Sagan Parking. I wonder what this could be. Peter the Great’s newest victory salute? That has nothing to do with parking though. Maybe this is some kind of cycling gymkhana

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:08

What a show off. Typical Sagan doing a one handed wheelie. Boring. Seen it before. But by the beard of Zeus he is so smooth! Absolutely effortless. My driveway wheelie attempts look like a monkey having a seizure while trying to start a lawnmower. Embarrassing. 

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:11

Looking a little chunky there Sagan old boy. Don’t you have the Tour coming up soon? Lay off the pastries champ or you really will turn into the Hulk. 

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:17

No I didn’t mean it! Come back. Don’t ride off just because I called you fat. You still climb better than me.

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:23

Yeah, thats what I thought. Now where’s this whole parking thing? Why does this video have so many views?

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:25

Again, super smooth wheelie, it makes me Canondale green with jealousy. Hold on, he’s not slowing down and he’s headed straight for the car.

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:26

WHAT?!? DID HE JUST…RIDE HIS BIKE…ONTO THE HOOD, ACROSS THE WINDSHIELD AND ONTO THE ROOF!! That stunt basically guaranteed that I’ll be watching this video again. 

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:30

GET OUT OF THE CAR! GET OUT OF THE CAR! HOW IS IT TAKING THIS CAMERA GUY SO LONG TO GET OUT OF THE CAR? I have so many questions running through my head, the first of which being why wasn’t this filmed outside of the car in the first place?

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That was a really quick dismount. Or it took forever to get out of the car. Do you think he rode into the tray too? That would be pretty awesome. Guess the world will never know because of this tortoise-like camera man. 

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:38

Smooth. Like his wheelies. 

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:41

Peter Sagan drives a Citroen?? Are you serious? Maybe he should take that rumored multi million Euro contract from BMC. Thats like David Beckham flossing a Lincoln or Cipollini with a buzz cut. Maybe he rented the car for this stunt because of the arrows on the front bumper pointing the way to go. But if Sagan did rent a car, riding a bike onto a Porsche of a Lamborghini would have been way cooler. Is that why there are 35 thumbs downs for this video? Has to be. How could you not love this?

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:43

Even the best bike handlers practice safety first but they NEVER wear a helmet in a car or onto the podium. I’m looking at you Zack Noonan.

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:47

Hey all you CX-ers out there that thought you were cool jumping over barriers, think again. Now where’s that replay button because I don’t believe what I just saw.

Watch the video yourself if you haven’t already.

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